I knew something was different when I woke up this morning. Something was off. It started with my appetite, needing nothing more than tea and grapes. I usually drink coffee and spread butter too thickly on two slices of toast. As I watched the milk billow in my tea I got that feeling. I always know when depression is starting to seep in, it senses the perfect time to infiltrate the corner of my brain that is always poorly guarded. The call is unexpected and yet my new morning ritual of tea and grapes seemed to be waiting for it. You say you feel terrible, that you hate having to tell me this. And here it comes: the break up. The untying of late nights and early mornings spent with legs entwined and the safe feeling you only get when you pick your person, and think they’ve also picked you. Sitting in my bath of now chilly water I can’t tell where my tears end and the tap water starts. The image that keeps popping into my head is the milk puffing up like clouds in my tea from this morning. The universe was trying to warn me this was a day to stay in bed. I should've listened. But instead I separate my clothes from yours and wash the smell of you off my body and out of my sheets. Over the next few weeks we will begin to weed out the things from our relationship .The pants you left here and the shampoo I left there will be gone and the traces of me in your life will disappear. As if I was never there.
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