Love Language

The love you have for me is masking the impurities I have contaminated our sacred language with. I stretch into my new skin and push you out the door. Don't come back to me, you deserve a kinder love. The irony of it is that you want me as I am, you've always wanted me, no matter which me I'm being. But I only want you when I'm bad. You are my playmate. As much as it saddens you, I know that a part of you likes me mean and rabid. But I like my nest, in my cage too. My heart wavers when you look at me like that, and just as quickly I feel rage crawling along the lines of my face. I feel a pressure betweeen my eyebrows from your thumb reminding me to stop scowling. I wish you wouldn't touch me. But you know I would never push your hands away. I know you love me and I'm sick everytime I feel you trying to fix my broken parts. You don't understand how broken things work, when they heal they are never as they once were. You are too gentle with me and it's time for you to hear the flighty thumps my heart makes in its attempt to escape a love I may never be ready for, not in this life.

Song Bird

I've seen you wholesome. I've seen you tame. But now you are wild. The melody of your song is no longer symmetrical to such straight lines. There are people who will want to quiet the delirium in your voice. But sweet girl, your song is wild, and you must sing it louder.

I came across things you once wrote for me. I know you wanted to be happy. You thought you could be. I'm so devastated that I could not help you. I'm going to mourn you today and thank the sun for shining on my face and always preserving my love for life. And then I will hope that the sun is finally shining on your face too. But If your days are still dark I will be even more intentional with the places I go and the people I share my light and love with, I'll do it for you. I will work hard at being thankful that I always remember to look up on sunny days, and to forgive those who are not always strong enough. You will always be a bright turtle star to me. I hope you find the strength to show everyone how lovely you really are. & when you are strong enough, look for the sunniest hill you can find and climb to the top. It will be all yours and I promise it will be kind and good to you.