Karma Larma Marma

I'm not sure I knew what I was doing when the events of my summer began to compress on me. I'm not really sure I cared in the moment. It was more like my subconscious knew my defeat before it happened. I felt it there all Summer, but I never knew it would look like this. I hope it was worth it. In some ways it was. I remind myself I'm human and that we don't always know the weight of our mistakes until it's done and can't be taken back. I finally have everything I've wanted all Summer. But I sit here on a bench next to a spider and he's telling me I stole this happiness. I debate squishing him. Instead, I walk away and tell him to let me be, he looks at me knowingly and I think he finally understands.