The Relationship That Just Won't Die

I think back to the night you told me you would never love me, would never feel the same as I do for you and how sorry you are to do this to me. I thought we were moving in together, I thought you picked me. But there I am in a pile of tissues and tears. By the end of that pitiful week my anxiety medicine is running close to empty and the bottle of wine we bought together has long been drained. When I finally open the windows, get dressed and move on with life your name pops up in my email, my phone, and my facebook. Periodically you want to ask how I am or share a useless fact. When I realize I'm starting to be pulled back into you I tell you to leave me alone and that nothing can be undone. Goodbye is what I say. I'm unsettled by these encounters and when I recover from the strength it took to reject your presence in my life you again start a war with the part of me that is trying to un-love you. You tell me you'll see me in California. Confused, I ask "what do you mean?" You tell me you are also staying at the M hotel in September. Panic creeps into my stomach and into my throat. The universe is being much too forgiving of you, allowing you to steal these moments of mine. It's getting harder to keep pushing you out.