Fake It Till You Make It

I call her because she always has the answers. She wears 10 year old over-alls, a gap tshirt, target chandelier earrings and drives a Porsche to pick up milk from the store with her left hand that is anchored by a 5 karat diamond ring. I don’t always understand her but I call her because I think she’ll know how to get me out of this funk. She tells me to put on my scrubs, go to work, paint my lips, and get my ass out of bed. Sometimes we have to wear costumes to get through life. Sometimes we want to wear overalls and eat a hot dog from the gas station but you put your Kate Spade bag on your shoulder, pick up the milk from the store and look like a rock star doing it.

Never Never Land

I'm Wendy and you are all of my lost boys. She says it with pride. At some point we are all Wendy. Mom, Girlfriend, Wife, Girl that guy sleeps with, Girl that waits for the call that never comes. Even after the lost boys track dirt into the house, eat candy before dinner and don't say please or thank you Wendy continues to follow them to Never Land...

I’m living in a moment of holding my breath and keeping my tears in my body before I leave for work only to waste them on a bruised knee after I whack it into a table. It’s the kind of year you tell yourself next month will be better and then it’s worse and it’s so bad it’s almost funny. Like the universe is stuck on April 1st and your life will stop being one big freaking joke when the day is finally over. The kind of year you wish you were in Ninth grade, nobody wishes they were in the Ninth grade. I miss permission slips. Somehow everyone and there mother knows this is the worst year for you so they choose that moment to tell you they’re surprised your not done with school yet, that ten extra pounds doesn’t look that bad on you, or that your flat tire is too damaged to repair, not to mention the tweezers you find with a note that says “from mom” because she thinks the lack of grooming was simply misplaced tweezers.